It’s been almost three years since an Alexandria mother was plunged into sudden grief after learning her 21-year-old had taken his life by suicide. His death came just hours after he’d texted his mom that he was doing awesome.
Now, Betsy Stephenson has written a book about her family’s journey with grief and what she calls “life after suicide.”
She does not hold back when she talks about son Charlie’s death by suicide on July 10, 2022.
“To me, that was one of the objectives of the book. I’m going to lay it all out,” she said.
Charlie was found by a roommate in the home they shared in Fort Worth, Texas, where Charlie attended Texas Christian University. His older sisters rushed home to Alexandria, where the family gathered after the heartbreaking news.
“The first decision we made: Are we going to be forthcoming about cause of death?” Stephenson said. “It was a quick and unanimous decision, and yet I don’t think at the time we realized how momentous it was for all of us.”
In her book, “Blackbird,” and during author talks, Stephenson explains how that decision to share the cause of Charlie’s death shaped their grief journey in crucial ways. They also shared that he’d suffered from depression.
“First of all, it relieved us of the burden of the secrecy that often comes with suicide,” Stephenson said. “We also realized over time it helped our community support us … because they didn’t have to dance around it either.”
Her unvarnished reflections started with a Facebook post, and readers responded.
“People were messaging and saying, ‘Yeah, you know, I lost someone to suicide, too, but we don’t talk about it’,” Stephenson said.
Writing her book became a way to untangle her questions and emotions: How could her seemingly happy child die this way?
Stephenson points to a text exchange just hours before his death, in which she wrote: “Good night bub. Hope you’re doing great. Love you.”
Charlie responded: “I’m doing awesome. Love you good night.”
“Yes, it’s terrifying to think you can text your son on a Saturday night who says ‘I’m doing great, love you,’ and then the next morning he’s dead. It’s terrifying,” Stephenson said. “I don’t want to scare people, but to me, that is the perfect example of why depression and anxiety are so sneaky and powerful.”
In addition to exposing the dangers depression presents, Stephenson also wanted to explore how to confront and live with immense grief.
I really looked at grief and considered it a job. I’m going to undertake this … This is a part of who I am. It will be with me forever. How am I going to live with it? How am I going to put myself back together?
Betsy Stephenson
Her greatest hope in detailing her experience is that it will encourage conversation about mental illness, suicide and grief, and possibly save another family from the loss her family suffered.
from Local – NBC4 Washington https://ift.tt/eJivDIu
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